The Quiet Power of Mentorship: Lessons Beyond the Job

It’s easy to imagine mentorship as some tidy, formal relationship: the wise veteran sits across from the eager upstart, doling out sage advice like a vending machine for wisdom. But in reality — at least in my experience — mentorship is far messier, but at the same time, far more meaningful.

In my years navigating refinery catwalks, conference rooms, and eventually commercial real estate deals, I’ve learned that the best mentorship doesn’t announce itself. It happens in offhand comments, in quiet moments after a big failure, in the long silences that force you to figure out who you really are under pressure.

One of my earliest mentors never once called himself a mentor. He certainly never asked me to sit down for a “career development chat.” Instead, he handed me the dirtiest jobs on the unit, gave me enough rope to tangle myself up completely, and then showed me — usually without a word — how to get unstuck.

That approach taught me something textbooks never could: the value of earning your confidence rather than borrowing it. In those chaotic early years, I learned to make decisions quickly, to own my mistakes, and to trust my gut.

I'd like to say, that all of this occurred without any undue hardship but - truth be told - I picked up a few bumps and bruises along the way (perhaps, more than just a few). Despite this, these uncomfortable (and oftentimes unconventional) lessons from my mentor, proved to be far more meaningful because of the hard work that was required to overcome the many obstacles he placed in front of me in an effort to help me grow and succeed.

Years later, as I started leading teams myself, I saw how those lessons carried over. Whether it's a refinery startup or a commercial real estate transaction, the most critical challenges aren't just technical — they're human. They come down to trust, clarity, and the patience to let someone else learn in real time rather than stepping in with the intent of fixing the problem for them.

Ultimately, mentorship shouldn't be about creating a clone of yourself. It’s about creating a space where someone can discover their own style, their own edges, and ultimately, their own resilience.

In a world obsessed with quick wins and highlight reels, mentorship is a quiet rebellion. It reminds us that true growth isn’t Instagrammable; it happens in the late nights, the botched presentations, and the deals that fall apart just when you think they are coming together.

If there’s one lesson related to mentorship that I hope to pass along — to my kids, my team, and the entrepreneurs I work with — it’s this: the greatest mentors that I've come to know, don’t simply give you the answers; instead, they help you ask better questions, to gain clarity and to stay on track. And oftentimes, once you finally find your footing, you realize they were beside you all along, cheering you on in ways you never fully saw.

If this resonated with you, reach out if you'd like to talk mentorship, leadership, or share some real stories behind my journey navigating from the W2 environment into the world of entrepreneurship.